On April 13th, 2026, at 3:05 a.m., my wife and I welcomed our first baby into the world. She is the most beautiful and precious thing we've ever laid our eyes on. We were fully expecting labor to last hours, if not days, but my wife was an absolute trooper and was only in labor for about 5–6 hours (thank God).
Our stay at the hospital was also pretty short, lasting only about a day and a half. I was honestly happy to leave that place because the "couch" I slept on was the most uncomfortable thing in the world. Definitely worse than what my wife went through during labor. Okay… maybe not. But it was close.
Then we got home.
That's when it really hit us. At the hospital, there are nurses and doctors constantly checking in on you, answering every question, showing you how to care for your little one, and constantly calling your wife mama. At home, it's just you and your new family. No nurse is coming through the door to reassure you that you're doing things right. It's both exciting and terrifying all at once.
One minute you're staring at this tiny little human, wondering how someone so small can completely change your world, and the next you're realizing that you're now responsible for keeping them alive. No pressure, right?
But don't worry. If I could survive the chaos of becoming a new dad while learning how to care for both my wife and our baby, you can too. Here are five things I've learned as a first-time father that I hope make your journey just a little bit easier.
1. It’s Okay to Grieve Your Life Before a Baby
Before meeting your new baby, you have nine months to prepare for a new life. During these nine months, it is okay to grieve your previous life with your partner.
Although I was very excited to welcome our baby girl into the world, I wasn’t oblivious to our life changing. Before pregnancy, my wife and I were able to spend a ton of time together traveling, moving to a new state, hanging out with friends, and just enjoying life together. I knew that adding another member to our family meant this chapter of our lives was coming to an end, and a completely new one was about to begin.
I was sad to say goodbye to the life we had because it was a really great one. I think there's this expectation that once you're about to become a parent, you should only feel happiness. But that's not reality. You can be incredibly excited for what's ahead while still grieving the life you're leaving behind. So feel those emotions and know that it's okay to do so. It doesn't make you any less excited to become a parent, it just means you’re human.
2. Be There For Your Partner
Baby’s home. You made it through pregnancy. Everything goes back to normal, right? Not quite. Welcome to postpartum; it can be a b*tch.
Postpartum begins after delivery and typically lasts six to eight weeks, although it can last much longer. It can be an incredibly demanding time for your partner, as they experience a lot of physical changes and emotional symptoms like anxiety and depression. I cannot stress enough how important it is to be there for your partner during this stage.
First, educate yourself about postpartum. Your partner may not experience every change that can come with this stage, but knowing what to expect can help you better understand what they’re going through and prepare you to support them.
It’s also important to familiarize yourself with baby care tasks like diaper changes, bottle feeding (if applicable), and nap routines. The more comfortable you are with caring for your baby, the more you can step in and support your partner when they need it.
Validate your partner and let them know how thankful you are for them. Tell them you love them, but also show your love through your actions, like cleaning without being asked, taking something off their plate, or simply being there when they need you.
3. Find a Hobby You Can Do at Home
Postpartum not only affects your partner, it can also take a toll on your mental health. It is important to remember that your mental health matters just as much as your partner’s.
For me, one of the things that helped me stay relaxed, confident, and above water was finding a hobby. I picked up a gaming handheld and an e-reader, which gave me something that was just for me and helped me take a break when I needed one.
Taking time for yourself doesn’t mean you’re taking time away from your family. Sometimes, giving yourself a little space to recharge can help you come back feeling more present and ready to be there for your partner and your baby.
P.S. If you’re a reader, get yourself an e-reader for this stage. I know, I know - you’re part of the “physical books are superior” crowd. But when every light needs to be off, and the curtains need to be closed so the baby can sleep, you’ll be very thankful you have that e-reader.
4. Expect the Unexpected
This one is pretty straightforward but definitely needs to be called out: everyone's experience with a new baby is different. You may find yourself on Reddit looking for advice, reassurance, or someone who’s going through the same thing. Just remember that what works for one family, or baby, may not work for yours.
It’s time to put on your patient pants and learn to roll with the punches. Things won’t always go according to plan, and that’s okay. Give yourself, your partner, and your baby some grace as you figure things out together.
5. Don’t Overlook Work Benefits
If you’re becoming a parent, take some time to understand the employee benefits available through your job. Parental leave, health insurance, mental health resources, flexible work options, and other family benefits can be incredibly valuable during this stage of life.
I am incredibly grateful to work at a place that not only values my well-being, but also my family’s. Being employed at Fireside at Five gave me access to benefits that made a real difference during my transition into parenthood. Between the CO FAMLI Leave Plan, three months of paid parental leave, flexible remote work, and other family-focused benefits, I felt supported both as an employee and as a new dad. Having that time to be present for my wife and daughter during those first few months was something I didn’t take for granted.
For me, one of the biggest benefits has been working for a fully remote company. Having the flexibility to step away for a mid-week doctor’s appointment, help out at home, or simply be there when my family needs me has made a huge difference. Life with a newborn doesn’t exactly follow a Monday–Friday, 9–5 schedule, so having a workplace that understands that sometimes you need to step away and take care of life can make it a lot easier to show up as your best self, both at home and at work.
It’s easy to overlook these benefits until you actually need them, but knowing what’s available ahead of time can save you a lot of stress. Read through your benefits information because you may have more support available to you than you realize.
There’s no perfect way to become a parent. You’re probably going to make mistakes, question yourself, feel overwhelmed, and maybe even Google “Baby poop color chart.” That’s all part of it. Enjoy the little moments, especially the baby breath, because as exhausting and chaotic as this stage can be, it really does go by faster than you think.
